It is time to do a comparison between two things treasured by men, Beer and Pussy…
A beer is always wet.
A pussy needs encouragement.
A beer tastes horrible served hot.
A pussy tastes better served hot.
Having an ice cold beer makes you satisfied.
Having an ice cold pussy makes you Hillary Clinton.
Beers have commercials making fun of skunky ones.
Pussy does not.
If you get a hair in your teeth consuming pussy, you are not disgusted.
24 beers come in a box.
A pussy is a box you can come in.
Too much head makes you mad at the person giving you a beer.
If a beer is brewed with yeast, it is still edible.
If you come home smelling like beer, your wife may get mad.
If you come home smelling like pussy, she will definitely get mad.
6 beers in a night and you better not drive.
6 pussies in a night and you have done all the driving you need.
Buy too much beer and you will get fat.
Buy too much pussy and you will get poor.
It is socially acceptable to have a beer in the stands at a football game.
You are a legend if you have a pussy in the stands at a football game.
If a cop smells beer on your breath, you are going to get a breathalyzer.
If a cop smells pussy on your breath, you are going to get a high five.
With beer, bigger is better.
Wearing a condom does not make a beer any less enjoyable.
Pussy can make you see God.
Beer can make you see the porcelain god.
If you think all day about the next pussy you will have, you are normal.
If you think all day about your next beer, you are an alcoholic.
Peeling labels off of beers is fun.
Peeling panties off of pussy is more fun.
If you try to snag a beer at work, you get fired.
If you try to snag a pussy at work, you get hit with sexual harassment.
If you suddenly drop a beer, it may break.
If you suddenly drop a pussy, it may hunt you down like the dog you are.
If you change to another beer, your old brand will gladly have you back.
The best pussy you have ever had is not gone once you have enjoyed it.
The worst pussy you have ever had is not gone once you have enjoyed it.
Bad beer: Schlitz, PBR, Old Swill.
Bad pussy: Roseanne, Janet Reno, Madeline Albright, Janeane Barafolo
Good beer: Samuel Adams, Moosehead, Pete’s Wicked Winter Brew.
Good pussy: Almost all but the above.
The government taxes beer.
- Throwing out stuffs from moving cars
- Jumping queues especially at the airport
- Disobeying traffic lights
- Spraying money at social gatherings
- Fashion parade in church
- Borrowing without ever paying back (bad debt)
- Turning up late for every event (African time)
- Fixing appointments that can never be met (popular with tailors, mechanics etc)
- Very competitive(thats why we ambitious)
- Talking so loud on the phone
- Overprotective fathers
- ending every sentence with “ah”, “o” or “ehn”
- Making fun of people
To be honest we would be boring people if we were proper all the time
Damn I Love Nigeria…
Africa, Beautiful yet unappreciated
Africa, Sahara to the Atlantic
Africa, From Zulu Land to Yoruba Land
Africa, From Nile River to River Niger
Africa, Rain and Sunshine round the year,
Africa, With her greenery lustre
Africa, With Coolness, Calmness, a Serenity unequal
Africa, Your hospitality and warmth taken for granted
Africa, Raped and left desolate, yet richly blessed
Africa, Your Children scattered all over the World crying for you
Africa, You are simply mine Africa.
A thunderous silence
breaks through my thoughts.
What was once many great ideas
is now a triumph, lost.
Baffling words tumble through my mind.
Reflections of darkness hover.
A disturbing peacefulness beckons to me,
and inside myself, I take cover.
What would it be like to stay there forever?
To be lost in all my cares?
From the inside, looking out -
I cry silent tears.
Eyes of criticism look upon a world diverse
shouting out opinions racially dispersed.
Mentally afflicted this disease attacks the brain
making you believe you found the source arcane.
Feeling so superior, you wear a different skin
never mind how he feels or the man within.
This affliction is not limited to any certain race
all of us carry some of this disgrace
Kill them all destroy the scum oh mighty god thy
will be done.
Shouts like those can be heard all across the lands
however, it falls on deaf ears I’m here to lend a hand.
I give thanks for blindness no color do I see
hoping you can feel the same when you look at me
Racism not contagious but passed from son to son
putting all this aside find strength in the power of one
Sister I embrace you, brother I’ll shake your hand
matters not who you are or from what distant land.
Cyprus- 24hrs To NewYear(2011)
- Sexual asks
- “Have you ever..”
- “Would you rather..”
- This or that
- Personal questions
- TMI Questions
- Random questions.
- Random things you want to tell me.
- Anonymous questions of any nature.
- Your honest opinion on anything.
- Your honest opinion about me.
Ma oovoo Aint Workin Nw…Imma Fixx It Soon Though….jst txt me ur id ok